Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I enjoy the company of your penis
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
