His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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