I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
