i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
