Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
