At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize