dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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