I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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