It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and she was petting her beer can
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
