For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
