He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
BRING THE BAGELS
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
