P.S. I can't hear my feet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
NoShamevember. You game?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
