There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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