Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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