so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
