He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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