hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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