State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
