Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
