oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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