My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
