it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
