Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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