I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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