My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just tell him i said nine months
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
