is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
