i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
