Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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