"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
