Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
