Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
