Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
