Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
