At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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