this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
