Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
