Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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