I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
