oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
