Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
