its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
