so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I fill condoms, not promises.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Couch. On fire.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
