Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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