You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize