so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize