His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
