That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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