Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
