Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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