the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
