WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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