her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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