he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i think i just lost a toe
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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