To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize