Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
