Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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