Moan for me like Helen Keller
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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