i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
