The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
