I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
