It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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