This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
