week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
