I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
