im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
