So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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